The Day I Lost It

Today I seemed to totally lose my mind. I've had so many small things happen to me in the last month that add up to a larger impact that I couldn't function at all. It ended up that I couldn't even be upset or angry about that 'last straw' and I didn't do anything but sit and involuntarily cry. I haven't hit this state in a very long time but apparently I needed to release some how.

I'm sure we've all had this happen to us at some point in our lives. You know you've lost control over enough that you aren't where you want to be, where you could be, and many things are out of your control to reach that goal. That's me. I had a definite goal this month and I know that I'm not going to make it because I had to depend on unreliable people. I knew that I was frustrated but wow, I didn't realize exactly how bad it was. Tears rolled down my face once the realization set in that I couldn't do any more than I have been doing. After that I ended up in a semi vegetative state while I tried to think of another solution. I totally lost any appetite that I might have had so that even the best diet pills weren't needed today but I made sure to drink plenty of water. The one thing that I can be thankful for is that this breakdown was a "calm" one and a release of emotions rather than pure anger and frustration. I guess there is always another side to the storm.